You won't play many rounds without hearing a few excuses from your playing partners. You know what they say about excuses, so make sure you're not the one making the rest of the group roll their eyes the whole round. Here are our top 10 most forgettable excuses on the golf course.
1. "Mother Nature is a cruel beast"
Hitting golf shots off hard ground is about as fun as scratching nails on a chalkboard. The bounce on your club ricochets off the hardpan, causing you to hit a thin shot into a nearby living room window. The cops are called, everybody freaks out, punches are thrown…it’s just an ugly situation. But is this really a testament to the ineptitude of the golf course watering system? Hardly (pun intended). Choke down on the club, put the ball back in your stance and punch that sucker out into the fairway.
2. "My golf swing is a process"
It’s kind of like how an artist is never truly happy with what he created, except for the fact that it’s really nothing like that at all. Bad shots are bad shots, new swing or not. Work on your swing at the driving range, not on the golf course.
3. "Someone was talking in my backswing"
This is an all-timer here. Noises in the middle of one’s backswing — talking, cameras, whatever — are constantly blamed for poor golf shots. This is even worse when nobody was talking in the first place. While I have no doubt that distractions can happen, at least try to pick out a sound that actually could be heard by another human. We all know you’re full of it; but we’d appreciate some effort.
4. "My grooves were dirty"
How many golfers actually clean their grooves after each shot? None. You can ignore anyone who uses this excuse next time you are out on the links.
5. "I just got new clubs"
Kind of like the new golf grip situation, make sure to use a golf club before heading out onto the course. This is the most annoying excuse that anyone can make.
6. "My driver was on yesterday!"
Let's be honest, we've all said this one a few times. It's one of the mysteries of life, how one day you can be hitting your driver perfectly and the next day you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
7. "The groundskeeper got in the way, I didn’t want to hit him"
All-time classic line that we all hear out on the course. Maintenance seems to always be going on whenever you play and there's no better person to blame than the groundskeeper.
8. "I just need a few holes to warm up"
This is my favorite line right after someone shanks a ball into the water on the 8th hole. By the time you make it to the back nine your scorecard will be filled up with too many strokes. This guy is the one who goes straight from the car to the first tee box.
9. "I'm not used to these conditions"
This is usually a not-so-subtle indication that the course isn't up to your standards. Don't take it out on the greenskeepers, I'm sure they're trying their best out there. It's not their fault you can't find a fairway or don't know how to read a green.
10. "I usually never play like this"
This one can go one of two ways. Either this person has thoroughly embarrassed themselves with their score and are trying to save face or, more annoyingly, the alleged bogey golfer just shot in the 70s and took your lunch money. While exceptionally good and bad rounds happen, generally nobody's going to believe you and even if they do, nobody cares. The only way to back this one up is to start keeping your Handicap Index and let your score history speak for itself.